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| On the Steps of the Met xoxo |
Hello my
loyal readers, I can only apologize for the lack of posts over the past few months.
Suffice to say I am now a respectable employed student and I was on
holiday. The vacation destination was none other than the big apple, the city
that never sleeps, so nice they named it twice, NEW YORK CITY.
Queue Jay-Z: YEAH I’M OUT THAT
BROOKLYN, NOW I’M DOWN IN TRIBECA, I’M
RIGHT NEXT TO DENIRO, BUT I’ll BE HOOD FOREVER. Whatever that means.
2 weeks, three stalwart friends off on
a whirlwind big city adventure. In the immortal words of Donkey, I love it. There
were highs: shopping in Bendels', Wicked on Broadway, the Gossip Girl tour,
Literal highs: Rockefeller center, Lady Libby and the Freedom Tower but there
were also crushing lows. This blog post details the sights and sounds you
should avoid in NYC.
Ultimately my take away advice is not
all money spent is money spent wisely and additionally don’t let your friends
go hungry. They will try to kill you. To sum up we’re having fun, miss a meal
time at your own peril.
What Not to do in New York
Don’t wear the shortest
dress you own.
Your chic summery
vibe swiftly becomes more lady of the night or more likely trashy white girl.
Don’t expect
Julian Morris to be there.
He’ll be in
Edinburgh instead. Despite the fact you were in Edinburgh the entire year. Despite
the fact you snapchat him your whereabouts constantly. And despite the fact he
lives in NYC. He won’t be coming back to Pretty Little Liars and he won’t be
coming to your city.
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| Why Julian? Why must you hurt me so? |
Don’t give spare change
to homeless men at red lights.
They will come and
speak to you. They will scream at you tips on how to save money. There is no
escape. You will look a fool.
Don’t buy food at museums.
If it’s edible and in a museum it’s going to be expensive. And probably terrible.
Don’t take your hungry
friends to the museum.
As I mentioned
above, your friendship may not last as long as you first imagined.
Don’t go to Senor Frogs for food.
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| These smiles and balloon hats hide tears. |
Don’t walk 5+
miles for macaroons and then only buy one.
Because you will
go back almost immediately and there will be a line out the door and the shop assistant
will recognize and judge you.
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| We'll take the lot. |
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| Fun Fact: Blair Waldorf and Leighton Meester bought macaroons here. |
Don’t go on the
Hop on Hop Off bus tour.
Picture the ‘It’s
a Small World’ Disney ride but with a bellowing New York tour guide and NYC
trivia.
Don’t trifle with
Chanel’s security team.
Don’t leave a note
written in eyeliner and signed with a lipstick kiss in place of a tip.
Don’t expect
celebrities to come helicoptering in just because you have arrived.
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| The only 'celebrity' we saw. |
Don’t wait your
turn for a picture in front of the the Alice in Wonderland statue in central park.
It’s a jungle out
there. Parents are ruthless and so you must be to get that winning photo.
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| Out of my way peasant. |
Don’t forget fancy
hotel bathrooms as your key into the NYC elite lifestyle.
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| Living the dream at the Empire. |
